Thursday, October 25, 2007

lag left in Scottsdale? no thanks...

Another beautiful Thursday in Tempe, and though I am having a wonderful day, things could always be better. Remember folks; it is a GOOD thing to strive for perfection knowing it can never be achieved. On my quest towards total consciousness I have one small favor to ask of the wonderful people I share this valley with.

WILL YOU PLEASE AT LEAST DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT?!

There are mounds of unwritten laws most drivers in America abide by as if they were on the books. But here in the "zone" many of those important rules seem unknown. There is also at least one organization that is not helping, ADOT. The Arizona department of transportation is a sad state of affairs. Stop closing roads for cycling events in which I see two women on mountain bikes casually chatting as they "race." (I witnessed this over the summer at the corner of Curry and Scottsdale Rd.) I know what you're thinking too… and no, it wasn't the triathlon. Which is stupid as well, I'm sure they don't have to hold the triathlon in the middle of Tempe. I'm not like most people I guess. Because I would just assume heckle the athletes who are responsible for the "great divide" between north and middle Tempe. "GET OFF MY CAMPUS!"



As for the slow drivers (a-ghem snowbirds) This is not a problem just
on highways, many times I will be stuck behind a whole pack of drivers
going 35mph on Scottsdale Rd. Usually early in the day while most
people are headed to work.

I have also noticed a plague affecting this population called
rubbernecking. IT'S JUST A CAR OUT OF GAS!
STOP LOOKING FOR BRAINS ON THE ROAD!



One more thing, as Adam Carolla (one of my heroes) might say, "what's
with the left turn red lights? I can literally see the curvature in
the earth's surface and there is no one headed in the opposite way."
Meanwhile I have to wait for the lights to cycle through again. I have
a wonderful solution, go ahead and turn. Look for a camera, and then
just go ahead… Moroni will still love you.


the problem with most people, is that they don't understand just how much more important I am than them... M.I.P. 2007



From now on, please urge your neighbor to

1. Kindly merge on the highway at the speed limit, after all that is
what the ramp is for.

2. Drive the speed limit, and leave room for others to pass. (That
means pass on the left!)

3. Stop being such a pussy and turn on red lights when you are the
only one at the intersection.

4. Don't head home right after the win this Saturday, ADOT will again
have inappropriately shut down roads to help with traffic. Just head
to Mill and take a cab home after last call.



Nick Saia (usa)
Nicholas.Saia@asu.edu

2 comments:

Justin said...

Please stop

Erik said...

Do you mean "just as soon" instead of "just assume"? Good God, man.